Bioethicists get in line
"It's already an established principle in our community that human life lacks any inherent value, so this decision doesn't really present any ethical dillema," said British feminist Jenni Murray, in regards to killing herself. Murray fears that the 20th century's liberation of women may be endangered by parents who refuse to die, "trapping" their emancipated daughters in the role of caregiver. The insensitivity of such parents apalls her -- thus she regards them as having an obligation to commit suicide and free their children yet again.
However, when Murray looked around her, she saw an analogous situation in society as a whole. "Society is trapped, really, in the same way I was with my mother -- they're stuck with all of us bioethicists and euthanasia advocates, and they have to tolerate our noise on tv, radio, and the internet every day. And there's no equivolent of Depends for liberals' mouths. It's really gotten to the point where it's imprisoning and oppressive to society as a whole. Given the circumstances, in which all these liberated women find themselves trapped by a media market full of people like us, there isn't really any other conscionable option but suicide for people such as myself. We owe it to the people around us."
Baroness Mary Warnock, Britain's leading bioethicist, agrees with Murray. “I am not ashamed to say some lives are more worth living than others,” she remarked. "And given the burdens that the bioethicist community places upon society, it is clear that our lives simply are not worth living any more."
Yes, this is satire, or at least an attempt thereat -- these people didn't say most of the things here; for the real story, go here.
File Under: Loonies